Nabi Muhammad's Birthday - I was Paid!

Yesterday, (today's already 16th, Wednesday ) being Nabi Muhammad's Birthday, was a public holiday. I went for an early morning walk as usual and I found out that a new Nasi Lemak Stall has just opened outside the school for the first time (first day). I thought of buying breakfast for my mother and I and as I approached the nasi lemak stall,  I was greeted with kindness and smiles. The Malay couples gave me two packets of Nasi Lemak for FREE because it was their opening ceremony day, first day of business, and being Nabi Muhammad's birthday, a public holiday decided to do charity work to boost up their business in the near future. Now that's what I call sportsmanship as well as good entrepreneur! I WAS PAID! although a small amount but the consciousness was there. There is Humanity in this world for a girl like me!

I have found a new friend - A Match ( compatible )

I found a good friend today after reading her predicament and I myself shared my experiences with her. I had a good time listening and reading all my work and I am quite happy with it. I didn't know that  there might be someone exactly like me out there in this world who suddenly appears out in my facebook. I am very glad to be able to write and communicate with her. I suddenly published my sorrows by telling my own predicament.

I am worried that there might be people out there laughing at my stupidity and perhaps already know of my predicament. I shouldn't shut myself up because just recently today I gave up something that has been meaningful. And I walked out of it peacefully without a fight or a shred of shame. I am listening to another channel. First I found a good friend.Then I lost something that I treasured. Highly despicable. Suspicious.

Being old, quite a senior could be challenging when it comes to task. I think I just sprained my arm and neck and I'm feeling this way. I am not special. I am just partially sick. If I pass my exams next Tuesday, I shall be the happiest girl in the world. So far, I am in control of myself and my feelings. Letting it out with a good conversation helps a lot and I am grateful for their time and friendship although they do not know much of what's happening. Chatting in short forms but the relief comes.Friends are precious. I should not lose them.

Thank you for facebook.Thank you for e-mail boxes. Thank you for privacy settings. Thank you for giving me some words....

Journal Entry - 15 Feb 2011 (in Malaysia we are celebrating the birth of Nabi Mohamad S.a.w.)

This morning, I woke up feeling spirited and uplifted. I thanked the Lord because last night I was having awful dreams of my past life and recollecting it made me wonder what life was all about. I had lived for my children. I live for my other half, I shred a lot of hair, I have scar all over my face and body due to extensive suffering beyond repair - this is what it's like to mend a broken dream, just that, it's not my dream it's my husband's dream. I am building a house for him and I am feeding the multitudes...

But that was not what I want. I shouldn't had gotten married then. Mom had put me in this situation because she wanted me to know what marriage is all about - it's about sacrifice.(for a woman, beyond her wildest dream). And to put it all off, I had 'escape' out of that reverie - awful nightmare! Praise the Lord! Praise Buddha~ praise my destiny.

I am not gonna listen to the radio all day and too much music put me into a trance. I am like a walking zombie! I've got to write more because that's what I am here for. Writing makes me go wild. It's like in the Despicable - It's so Fluffy , I'm Gonna DIE! Knocked OVERRRRR! says the villain. But life has been great. I love every minute of it. Despicable me! Minion Bananas.

I should email to my aunt and tell her more about my happenings. I have lost touch with her for almost half a year.Anyway, I've sent her a Valentine greeting and she was so proud of me.Why! Because I mentioned to her that I value the 6th Commandment in the Bible - "Thou shalt not commit adultery." I am so proud of myself because my fears have conquered over me and I know I am right. I am doing the right thing to avoid,to refrain,to resist the temptation of an overdose of adultery, if it turns real...

The only person that I am going to sleep with is with my husband, because deep down inside, my family values are very strong, although I've been to Clinton, New York - I've been to Hamilton and I've witnessed ultimate pleasures in life. I don't think that by feeling good all day round is gonna fend for your needs,my concern is money at stake!Thanks to my upbringing.

I don't want to disappoint my parents who instilled in me strong marital values. I don't wanna lose them. Because I've watched outcast and I don't wanna be despatched! It's a total freak to be without food and begging, for in Malaysia, no matter how hard you beg, nobody and I mean nobody will notice you! Malaysians are rather selfish and less humanitarian, for food is scarce and there are no person in this world with a "heart of gold" like yours,Ling! except your parents, whom I am their flesh and blood, then they'll take me in and feed me! - talking literally, in terms of facts.

I am so good to be free from bondage. I lack aspirations but I'm good. I should keep this up. Gone are my days of scar, here comes days of break FREE! Adiiiosss!

Valentine's day - what it means to me.

If men and women were made to be totally alike, I think the world would be smooth and peaceful with love surrounding it. But realistically, man and woman are made to be totally different like in every thumb print that we have. Compatibility is hard to find, and when you do find it, you might not like your suffering eventhough it is 'you' who chooses it.Typically for a woman, her job is to feed the many members of the family, and the man, his job would be primarily to finance his house and his wife and his offspring. Cool, isn't it???

I should have learnt driving to my skill. But driving has been a norm since my schooldays.I should drive to the market. I should drive to the grocery store. I should drive to the supermarket. I should drive to the hypermarket. Everything is related to a destination. So you most surely has to drive in order to reach that place or location. But I LIVE near the grocery stores. I live near the Marketplace. I live near to all the mini markets. I also know how to deal with the petrol kiosk. I always leave with a companion so that I get extra help whenever need arises.So far so good.

This Valentine's means to me everything. I am in 'perfect' dish. HAPPY VALENTINE TO MY HUBBY!

HRM Queen Rania of Jordan.

Her Majesty Queen Rania Al-Abdullah ( formerly Rania Al-Yasin ) was born in Kuwait on August 31, 1970 to a notable Jordanian family of Palestinian origin. She completed her primary and secondary education in Kuwait, and in 1991 obtained a Bachelor's degree in Business Administration from the American University in Cairo. Upon her graduation from university, Queen Rania returned to Jordan and pursued a career in banking, followed by a brief career in the field of Information Technology.

His majesty King Abdullah bin Al-Hussein (then Prince) married Queen Rania on June 10,1993. After her marriage to then Prince Abdullah, Queen Rania channeled her energies behind initiatives that aim to improve the likelihood of Jordanians from various sectors of society. As First Lady, Queen Rania's activities encompass issues of national concern, such as the environment, youth, human rights, tourism, and culture, among others. She also has a special interest in several core issues : the development of income-generating projects and the advancement of best practices in the field of microfinance, the promotion of family safety and the protection of children from violence, the promotion of Early Childhood Development and the incorporation of Information Technology into the educational system; and the promotion of tourism and the preservation of Jordan's heritage...

I like Queen Rania. She is the new era Princess Diana which we used to loved and longed so much for...since her death. I ,like her, pursued my career in banking onced I graduated, followed by a brief career in the field of Information Technology. I have also studied Business Administration like Queen Rania at my former university college. I am also married , now to a commoner,chinese, but I have only two children. My special interest are also several core issues such as development of income-generating projects and the advancement of best practices in the field of microfinance as well as incorporation of Information Technology into the lives of housewifes....and married women today, in Malaysia....I would also like to preserve the Wiccan heritage into our lives....

Independent women of Malaysia......!

RESPECT - Earning respect, Fear, respect, Obedience.

When we show our respect for other living things, they respond with respect for us - Arapako Proverb - To respect a person is not possible without knowing him; care and responsibility would be blind if they were not guided by knowledge.

Love is respect. Respect is.....listening without interrupting......Respect is .......taking your partner's feelings into consideration.......Respect is......keeping an open mind.........

RESPECT IS.......:
1.   Respect is listening without interrupting.
2.   Respect is taking your partner's feeling into consideration.
3.   Respect is keeping an open mind.
4.   Respect is agreeing to disagree - accept.
5.   Respect is trying to understand your partner's viewpoint.
6.   Respect is loving yourself.
7.   Respect is trust and honesty.
8.   Respect is giving each other space.
9.   Respect is nonviolence - no weapon, no injury, no bruises.
10. Respect is direct communication in a sweet nicer way.
11. Respect is building a person up instead of tearing them down.
12. Respect is friendship.
13. Respect is not pressuring the other person.

LIKE SOMETHING AND I'LL DO IT.

Why is it conventional to pretend to like what you do? The first sentence of this essay explains that. If I have to like something to do it well, then the most successful people will all like what they do. That's where the upper-middle class tradition comes from.

To do something well, you have to like it. That idea is not exactly novel. We've got it down to four words : "Do what you love." But it's not enough just to tell people that. Doing what you love is complicated. It's for the money! The money's good - the ultimate PUSH! I'll do it for my pocket-money! I'll do it to pay my bills. I'll do it in the name of Love!! For that's what I want. For that's my choice. I chose my suffering. I will do it.

If in time, I learn to regret it. I pay my own price. If there's no way out, 'die hard, live free'. Pick up the cross. Ask my parents for help. If nobody can handle it, seek authorities, ask for professional help if you can afford it, lastly, leave it up to God to decide while I kick my ass off making it "work". It's like magic, I had it done. He won't settle for a NO as an answer. Finally there is a God UP there. It's my school and my upbringing that pushes me to the limits. Of course discipline comes in a lot and provisions and food supply are as equal to its justice. I believe in a family affair. I believe in asking for permission first and then settle for NO as an answer because without parental support, if anything goes astray or out of its boundaries, I have some love ones to lean on in times of crisis. Parental support are very strong. In other words, I have someone else to lay the blame.

I was a secretary to a senior manager who's gay. He went out with guys to see the movies, there's a special guy who's extremely loyal to him and they were like couples in a marriage. But he wasn't all that gay as to eat and drink with guys but he's also interested in girls. I think he is not so much gay as in hiding himself from the girls because there's some indifference inside him or because he doesn't like girls who go for his money / wealth. He must be rich but like most flirtatious men, also sucks with habits and narcissisty. Many girls failed in their relationship with him. I saw it coming. I left for another company just in time, because I couldn't cope with peer pressure and I didn't like my job and I couldn't stand doing outside jobs for him and I am already attached to another man.Flawless pig..

I finally found a job that I simply LOVEs......and my parents approved. That's the way to make things work.