This element I want to discuss digresses slightly from the chapter, but the chapter would not be complete without it. The question is, while we are dealing with the topic of killer instinct, when do we stop exercising the killer instinct and express our inborn human compassion? As William Shakespeare said in Hamlet, " I must be cruel, only to be kind." You should never stop exercising your compassion. Have love in your heart, but be smart and express your compassion with restraint and detachment. Every human being has the desire to be abundantly generous and to give freely. This includes love, compassion, respect, and material possessions. Deep down, as children of our Divine Maker, we all wish to perform our labor free of charge, solely as an expression of love. At the same time, we wish to reward others with an abundance beyond their possible expectations. Yet, the reality of daily survival causes too many people to feel contracted and fearful. Nevertheless, at one time of another, we have shared our resources with the needy beyond our reasonable capability.
In time, we notice, it is much easier to be compassionate and provide for the nameless and faceless needy persons than for those we consider to be our "special ones." This is because, through experience, we see our compassionate generosity often abused. It seems to some, the more you give them, the more you should give. These people act as if you owe them. Out of your desire to be kind, you expose yourself without a protective shield. Strange but true, we often abuse those who support and love us the most.
Beth and Lisa have known each other more than twenty years. Lisa is a divorced woman and has lived alone for over ten years. Recently, Beth was informed by her husband that he wanted out of their marriage. Beth moved in with Lisa while Beth's house was being sold. Lisa was sympathetic to Beth and wanted to help her all she could. She let Beth stay with her free of charge, in order to cut down Beth's living expenses. Lisa opened her arms and heart to a wounded friend. She catered to Beth's every need. Beth moved out six months later, and the two of them have not spoken since. Lisa feels hurt and abused by this incident. She told me, "I opened my heart and my wallet too quickly and without reserve. I gave everything up front. I could not top my own performance, but Beth's expectations were ever-rising." ( THIS EXACTLY HAPPENED TO ME AND MY TWO SONS AND MY EX-HUSBAND ALSO ).
In order to be kind, we have to be cruel. A Thick Face, Black Heart practitioner learns the necessity of restraint and controls his desire to be overly expressive of his compassion. Compassion is a state of mind, not a blind competition over how much you can do for others or for your own sons. Often, in order to be kind, we have to control our desire to do too much. Along the same lines, good parents learn the importance of controlling their urge to overly indulge and pamper their children. They know that they must be cruel, only to be kind. ):
